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day three hundred and eleven, originally uploaded by Allyson Kalie, found via kind over matter.

I'm writing this post because I've been challenged to. Challenged to put myself first, to practice what I preach, to hold myself accountable, to be driven by the accolades & enthusiasm of my readers (hint, hint), and to hope to give everyone in Internetland a first-hand account of starting something that scares you.

No, we're not talking about vampires, monsters, upside-down roller coasters, or The Dark. We're talking about Me Time.

“What's scary about Me Time, weirdo?”, you're probably wondering right about now, as Me Time is definitely not as scary as vampires upside-down roller coasters (although Luke thinks I'm wrong on the latter). For me, it's partly The Fear of Stopping, partly The Fear of Not Getting It Done, partly The Fear of Not Being All Things To All People. It's ridiculous, but I've been dreaming of a bubble bath for 3 weeks. 3. Effing. Weeks. And not once have I gotten in the tub. Why? Because I needed to make phone calls. Because I needed to make photo albums for my family from the wedding. Because I needed to clean the kitchen/living room/bedroom (Luke cleans the bathroom, bless him). Because I needed to update my blog. Because I needed to write my newsletter. Because I needed to not be tired for my coaching session in 90 minutes. Because I needed to…see where this is going?

As a life coach who is big - huge, even - on celebration, I don't practice what I preach. Not to say that I don't have intentions to celebrate, or take a mere 30 min to soak in the tub. I do. Great intentions, actually. And sometimes, it so happens. It does! But not always. Because, sometimes, there are Things That Need To Get Done.

But here I am, worried about burnout from my 40-hr/wk day job, the 5 clients I'm coaching this summer, & the 3 group coaching sessions I'm starting as early as next week (eek!). And while the coaching keeps me going & makes me so very happy, it's a whole damn lot on my plate all at once.

So, in talking to my coach this week, I realized that The Fear of Burnout/Overload/Making Something that Makes Me Happy & Having It Make Me Unhappy was really real. And the light underneath the surface that was glittering & shining below me was self-care. I need to treat Me Time as if it's an appointment. Wait, that's not even good enough. I need to treat Me Time as if it's a client session. Because those are sacred to me.

My Me Time will come on Sunday mornings, when I make myself wake up “early” (read: between 9:30-10a, as opposed to noon on Saturdays because I'm a 16-year-old trapped in the body of someone twice her ago) so I can go to bed at a half-decent time & be fresh for the week. For a minimum of 90 minutes, & a maximum of 3 hours, I'll keep my phone off, stay away from the computer (two EXTREMELY scary thing), and do whatever I want to recharge my batteries & feed my soul. Whether it's running in the park with Luke, reading the Times while listening to music, doing my yoga tape, wrecking my journal or soaking in a bath - it's all OK. Not only is it OK - it's necessary.

I'll keep you guys posted on the process, because I feel like the first month's gonna be especially hard. So please offer your comments, your encouragement, your suggestions and your experiences. Extra points to those that start something scary this week, too (if you let me know about it, I'll so link to you on my future posts).

I'm looking forward/scared out of my mind at not being Superwoman & “just” be Michelle for a mere 90-180 minutes/week.

Related posts:

1. Kicking Fear In It's Big, Fat Face!
2. Six Things that Make Me Happy
3. Tough (Question) Tuesday: How do you tell the Scary Stuff to take a hike?

You're Doing Everything Right by laurageorge

I don't trust myself.

OK, that's not entirely true. I trust that I'm driven. I trust that I'm smart. I trust that I'm personable. I trust that I'm loved. I trust that I'm liked. But there are things that I don't trust. I've conditioned myself to not trust them. Don't trust that great audition! You probably won't get a callback. Don't trust the kick-ass callback! You probably won't get the part. Don't trust! It's too scary. Trust disappointment, instead.

I don't trust that “it” will happen because I will it to. I don't trust The Secret. I don't trust that everything will work out. I don't trust that I know the things I should (I hate that word!) know. I don't trust anything beyond my control.

And therefore….I don't trust myself. But what I realized, sitting & figuratively starting fires with Danielle LaPorte & 20 other kick-ass women last month, is that I know everything I need to in order to continue on my journey. No, I don't have a crystal ball, but at 31 years & 10 months old (exactly, as I write this), I've succeeded, I've failed, I've loved, I've hurt, I've lost & I've gained. I could go into details but really…that's the gist.

What I see now in my crystal ball (maybe I do have one!) is this community I've built. MichelleLand consists of not only the people I know & love, but people I trust, some whom I see daily & some whom I've never met. I realize I know everything I need to know, and if I don't know it, I know someone who does, or someone who can find me someone who does. So y'know what I did when I left that Fire Starter session? I taped this vlog, & then I went home & unsubscribed from every newsletter by any person that didn't live in MichelleLand. I signed up for a trillion of them when I launched When I Grow Up, coming to the conclusion that These People (y'know, the ones who Know Things) will tell me everything I should know. And it made me cluttered & slightly crazy. It sucked my time & my brain & my energy. I was done listening to what I should know. I vowed to move forward trusting what I do know, & asking for help with what I didn't. And that's made me see that everything that unfolds from this point on comes from trusting in MichelleLand. I can believe in the people that make up MichelleLand, and that makes me believe that I'm worthy of this trust, too.

Here are some ways to start trusting yourself:

• Think of who lives in YourNameHereLand. Danielle calls it members of your tribe – people that see the world the same as you do, even though they probably have different personality traits or different skills sets. Who do you want in Your Tribe? Make a list of the 50 people that get a seat on the bus going to YourNameHereLand, & why. You'll soon see who's part of your community, & the traits that new people need to get a seat on the next ride.
• Make a list of all the things you're telling yourself you should know about Your Project or Your Goal. If you can't replace the word “should” with “want” or “need”, cross it off the list. That's coming from an outsider & they're not the boss of you. Then, next to each item that remains, write the reason behind why you think you “should” or “want” or “need to” know that. If it's anything close to, “Because I need to or else I'll fail!”, cross it off the list. That's just you thinking you need to know something, & it's baloney.  If the reason is something else (ie “I want to know how to knit because I'd love to make something homemade & special for my baby niece”), then write down all the people who can help you learn. Then, ask for help. If that's scary, offer to barter: a knitting lesson from your colleague in exchange for a make-up lesson from you. How is that not a win-win?
• Make it fun, so it's fail-proof. I'm working on a super top secret project (details on my blog at the end of the month!) that stemmed from the need, the want, & the desire to collaborate with 3 other women who I admire to death. We formed an idea that has the potential to take the interwebs by storm. But if it doesn't? If my Mom's the only one that jumps on our bus? OK, I won't lie & say we won't be disappointed, but I know it's going to be a huge learning experience, & a huge amount of fun, no matter the outcome. It's been fun fleshing this out. It's been fun putting it together. It's been fun getting to know an incredible group of smart, ambitious, creative, funny women. There is no “failing” with this project. It's just not possible. It's too much fun.
• Envision yourself living the dream. I know it's hippy-dippy of me, but I don't care. I allow myself to see myself in Complete Success Land. I know what I eat, and how I feel, and how I look, & where I go, & who I see. Do that for yourself. Often. If that doesn't cut it, make a vision board of it & put it someplace you see at least twice a day. Let yourself look at it. Daydream.
• Decide you don't believe in jinxes or bad luck. There's no such thing. It was never invented. Me? I'm a waiting-for-the-other-shoe-to-drop girl. Something good just happened? Dont' trust it! Something bad is right around the corner. And y'know what? I look for the Bad Thing, & I always find it. Always. What happens when you stop looking?

I know it's tough. I know it's scary. I know it's weird, even. But I do know that, as artists who feel that Disappointment Vampire looming, learning to trust yourself is a key to your success. A key to your happiness.

Don't you want to give yourself that key?

This article was in my newsletter over a month ago, as my meaty articles often are. If it doesn't look familiar, it's because you're not on the list! Make yourself a VIP without the bottle charge by clicking here to subscribe.

Related posts:

1. Tough (Question) Tuesday: What can you trust about yourself/this situation?
2. Tough (Question) Tuesday: What is your Vampire saying to you, and what will you say back?
3. Die Vampire Die!

I'm Michelle (hi, Michelle), a life coach with a Self-Help vendetta. I don't believe in the hippy-dippy, but I'm not sure why. Won't you help?

And yes, this video does win the award for Worst Opening Freeze ever. I do it for you, people. I do it for you.

Also, please note that I'm wearing a tank top. Although, if I kept that to myself, maybe I would have gotten more clients….

Confession: I'm a Self-Help Virgin from WhenIGrowUpCoach on Vimeo

Related posts:

1. Confession!
2. Stress, Tears, Gratitude & How I'm Really, Truly Doing
3. I'm Home, & I Thank You…

Fear is the Thief of Dreams, found on Mark Andrew Webber's Flickrstream, via kind over matter

I’ve been encountering a super bad four letter word lately, spoken by both my clients & myself. The word ain’t s*** or f*** or even crap-tastic. No. The word is safe. And it’s as bad as any of the words I just listed.

Now, when I think of safe, I think of sleepiness & hugs & hot cocoa & being with those I love & not being hurt & being invulnerable & fuzzy teddy bears & big down comforters. If I look at it as one cold winter day, a smile comes to my face. But if I look at it as a state of being, I see it as scary. Yes, scary. And boring. And stagnant. And ungrowthful (yes, I made that word up).

Safe should be a fear, not a goal. Secure, yes. But not safe. Never safe. It seems that almost every creative client I've worked with, at some point or another, had dreams & goals & aspirations that weren’t safe. And when my clients talk safe, they're talking about money.  Nobody ever speaks of safe in regards to emotion (even though they say they want to feel safe) – but they should. Staying at your desk job isn’t safe because you might end up punching your bullying boss in the face & going to jail.

No, all desk jobs are safe because they provide a steady income. A guaranteed paycheck. A roof above your head & food on the table. Yes, life is safe if someone else is cutting the check.

Until it's not.

I have a friend who got laid off from his job a few months ago. At 33 years old, he’s had the same job for over 10 years – ever since he graduated from college. He was in sales, his numbers were good, he good consistently above average reports, his company is extremely well-established – but it wasn’t enough to save him.

Was he safe?

You can make things less, well, safe while still reaching for security. I promise. Here are some ways to start:

• Make a list of all the things that are scaring you, but you know are holding you back. Now let yourself daydream (or journal or paint or write a song) about what it would be like to audition for that band, or leave that job, or work with that dream company. What would be the possible rewards for that risk, and what would be the possible downfalls? Would the possible reward be worth more than the possible fall? And even if you fell, what would you have accomplished? Pick the least scary thing from that list & commit to doing it. Remember, your legs are there to pick yourself back up.
• Spend some time researching a class to take on something new that’s struck your interest. How fun would it be to learn how to play the ukalale, or belly dance, or learn FinalCutPro? If you’re having trouble figuring out what it is you want to do, then think about the types of books & articles you read, or what you watch on TV. Someone obsessed with the DIY Network might want to look in to a woodworking class, while someone who is trying to live a green lifestyle can take a weekend class on, uh, living a green lifestyle.
• Brainstorm ways to achieve your dream while making it as scary-less as possible. For me, coaching was super scary because there’s not a stable income. So, instead of not pursuing coaching, I found a day job I could tolerate that could pay my bills while I got certified & started working with clients. Now, when I decide to leave my day job, I know I will have a money cushion in the bank, an already-strong clientele, & the tools (like a new website!) that’ll set me up to hit the ground running.
• How would you face your fear & achieve your dream in a perfect world? If you weren’t scared, or didn’t need to worry about money, how would you do it? And don’t let yourself stop at, “I’d open a theater and cast myself as the lead in everything. Duh, Michelle.” Think of the steps you’d need to take to open the theater, & why that would be the answer in the first place, & what you’d get out of that experience. See the big picture & then focus on the details. Who knows what can be translated to The Real World?

I know, I know – it's easier said than done. I, for one, am not a risk taker. I went to Atlantic City for 3 days & spent $5 on quarter slots on the way out because I realized I didn’t gamble the entire time. But the safe I’m talking about getting out of is that lazy, comfortable, possibly numbing cocoon that lasts for more than a week’s vacation. While I love wearing my pjs all day for one day, I would hate to wear them all day for the rest of my days.

Are you ready to get out of your pjs?

This article was debuted in last month's newsletter. It received a standing ovation & had a wicked cast party. If you want to get your front row seats to all of the following performances newsletters, then click here to subscribe.

Related posts:

1. Your Life Sentence: The Six-Word Memoir
2. Kicking Fear In It's Big, Fat Face!
3. Force yourself down that rabbit hole, Alice!

roar by jessgonacha. How I love that girl.

Do any of these exchanges sound familiar, fellow creative?

Them: “So…what do you do?”
You: “I'm an Executive Assistant.” (leaves out that you're a certified life coach & kicks ass at it & won't be an Executive Assistant for much longer)

or
Them:”So…what are you up to?”
You: “Uh….Well, I just opened my own shop on Etsy.”
Them:”What's Etsy?”
You: “Oh, it's just this online store thing….People can by my artwork….”
Them:”And you make a living from that?”
You: “Uh, well, I'm trying! I've sold some art and, uh, got featured on a blog and…”
Them:”Didn't you used to be a project manager?”
You: “Uh….yeah….”
Them:”Y'know, I know someone who's a project manager. I'll ask if they know of any openings.”
You: “Uh…thanks..” (leaves out that you will never (ever!) go back to being a project manager & actually just sold you first piece of art in your shop)

or
Them:”Are you still performing? You always loved that!”
You: “No. I pounded the pavement for a few years, but now I perform in my husband's show. He writes new episodes of old sitcoms – it's neat! But yeah, other than that…” (leaves out that you miss performing in musicals & are planning on auditioning at a theater you've found that's close to your new apartment)

Today, we're slaying the vampire that comes out to play when someone asks you the question, “So…what do you do?” For a creative person who might be stuck in a dead-end job (dead-end in their heart, at least) or embarking on a new “risky” career, that question can be a cause for panic – or neck sucking. In my case, there are times that I don't pimp myself out as a coach because I'm afraid people won't understand what it is, or they'll think I'm a hippy or they'll question how I can possibly earn a living coaching. I've heard similar things from my clients, especially ones that leave stable, lucrative careers to pursue their creative passions. They feel dumb admitting they gave up “a sure thing” for the “nomadic” life of an artist. They fear that they'll be judged unfairly, or not be taken seriously about their new endeavor. And above all that, they can't see how to put this “weird” choice (to the rest of the world) in a flattering light.

Well, let's start here:

• Write an elevator speech. You have 30 seconds or less to describe what you're doing – the length of an elevator ride. Imagine you're applying for a job, and have to sell yourself to the potential employer. What do you say to make yourself feel proud, while grabbing ‘em & pulling ‘em in? Well, you talk up your strengths & your accomplishments, & you're not afraid to boast! So, instead of the Etsy exchange above, the answer that artist can give to The Dreaded Question could be, “I've decided to leave project management to pursue a lifelong dream of being a full-time artist. I opened up an online shop so that people can buy my paintings, & just secured a booth to sell my stuff at the Brooklyn Flea, which is consistently winning Best Of awards. I'm just starting out, but I already got my first sale & have incorporated myself, so I'm on my way! I'm so happy to work for myself & pursue a career I'm really passionate about.”
• Write out the answer above & read it out loud to make sure that you're comfortable with it. Then, when you know it sounds & feels natural, practice it a few times so that the key points stick in your head. You don't have to memorize it & recite it like a robot, but I bet the Girl Scouts slayed some vampires by sticking to their motto: Be Prepared!
• “Find the “Why” of it all. Why are you uncomfortable with this question? Why are you afraid to reveal this piece of information? Why are you making excuses? How does it make you feel? (Yes, there's a “How” in there, so sue me). Journal the answers to those questions, & then start slaying by writing possible solutions. I'll start: “I'm afraid to reveal this because I don't want someone to ask if I'm making a living, because I'm not – yet! I don't want to have to prove myself to anyone or have them see me as flighty or idiotic by leaving a stable job in a bad economy. So, I'm going to let them know that I know it's scary & risky, but that it's a risk I'm secure taking. Maybe they'll even see me as brave, or say that they always wanted to do something like that! I can tell them that I'm certified & have been coaching for two years already, so I'll be ready when I go out on my own. If anyone digs any further than: (1) they're rude! & (2) it's obviously a problem they have with themselves & has less to do with me!
• Keep a Good Stuff / Warm Fuzzies folder. When someone gives you a kind word or a compliment, print it out & put it in a folder or a scrapbook. If someone says it audibly, write it down when you get home or keep a notebook in your purse or pocket to write in. I have a Good Stuff folder in Evernote that I use, & it makes it as easy as highlighting the text I want to include, clicking the Evernote button, & choosing Good Stuff in the dropdown. If I get down on myself & think, “What have I done lately? Nothing, that's what!” I go to the Good Stuff folder & see how I'm oh-so-wrong.
• Keep an Accomplishment Journal. Every day, write down at least 1 thing that you accomplished that related to your goal. Whether you purchased the domain name to your new site, or wrote a new blog post, or asked a friend about the class you're interested in that they teach, that's progress! You might not even think of it as a step forward during your hectic day, but that's some great ammunition right there.
• Celebrate! – but make sure you know that you're celebrating because of a recent accomplishment. That way, you'll condition yourself to feel good about a win, no matter how big or small, & it might be something that automatically comes to your head when asked The Dreaded Question. Just remember what you celebrated lately & you know what you've been doing right!

Are you starting to look at The Dreaded Question as a way to reaffirm for yourself why you're doing what you're doing? A way to let just one more person know about your exciting new journey? A way to let that one person tell other people that might be looking to buy what you're selling? A way to celebrate your accomplishments & be proud of the steps you're taking to live your passion? Then get out there & shout it from the rooftops! Sing from the mountains! Or just stand a little straighter when someone asks you The No Longer Dreaded Question!

If you're on my newsletter list, you tackled The Dreaded Question weeks ago. That vampire has had the cross in his face, the garlic in his nose, & the stake through the heart. If you want to tackle vampires as soon as I uncover them (yes, I'm Michelle the Vampire Uncoverer) then sign up here.

Related posts:

1. Tough (Question) Tuesday: What’s the most obvious question you can ask yourself to get closer to the outcome?
2. Tough (Question) Tuesday: What are you putting off that would contribute significantly to your well being?
3. Tough (Question) Tuesday: What are you doing right?

I did something scary last week! Wanna hear about it?

Turning Molehills Into Mountains & Back Into Molehills! from WhenIGrowUpCoach on Vimeo

If you wanna see the challenge that started it all / Jess LC's awesome bullying, click here.

(And yes, I changed from a Flip video to a Photobooth video & still can't get a decent freeze frame to start the video. It's my curse. I've accepted it. Let's all move on).

Related posts:

1. Confession: I'm a Self-Help Virgin
2. Stress, Tears, Gratitude & How I'm Really, Truly Doing
3. I'm a Fire Starter!

To Be Brave by Mae Chevrette

Today, I feel safe,  which seem both right & odd all at once. How can leaving “stability” feel safe? Why do I feel comforted & warm & happy & good? Where are the Vampires, making me be fearful of a life that I create, scaring me with thoughts of failure & bankruptcy? Why am I bright & smiley today? Why all this pride & excitement & love & tenderness instead of doubt & fear & hesitation & dread?

This new life, this unconventional life, doesn't look safe on paper, but I've never felt so sure of anything ever before. OK, I take that back – I felt exactly that when I married Luke: Calm. Peaceful. Happy. Right. Safe. The perfect fit. Something that helps complete me. This day is just like that day. It all feels perfect no matter what unfolds, & nothing can go Wrong because the thing that I'm doing is nothing but wholly, fully, thoroughly Right.

I'm creating my unconventional life, but it's a life that fills me with purpose & passion & possibilities. It saddens me that that's considered unconventional. And here I am, on that quest: To bring The Unconventional Life – one filled with purpose & passion & possibilities – to every creative soul.  To discover what it means for them, & to be a catalyst in making it happen. Maybe that's why I feel so sure: Because it's beyond me. Achieving this goal & breaking free of my corporate shackles not only serves me, but it serves everyone else I'm here to help along the way. I think this is what really gives me comfort & joy, & makes me feel that I'm doing The Right Thing, The Smart Thing & The Best Thing.

Here I stand, on the other side of a door that I closed & another one that I opened. Me. Myself. And while there is a sliver of fear, that is more peace than I've ever felt. I did that. I created that. I am oh so proud of me & My Unconventional Life.

Related posts:

1. Your Life Sentence: The Six-Word Memoir
2. Tough (Question) Tuesday: What action do you need to take right now to move your life forward into 2009?
3. “How is this my life?”

“I Make My Own Rules,” by Jess Gonacha Swift
The biggest thing I learned when I pounded the pavement as an actor was, well, me – my uniquity, my spark, what makes me different & where I thrive. From those handful of post-college years, I learned that I loved (& got cast!) singing loud & funny; creating new, SNL-like characters; portraying multiple roles at once; & being quirky / enthusiastic / spunky / offbeat. Once I put those pieces together & the lightbulb went off over my head (I may or may not have shouted, “Eureka!”), I made sure to absolutely positively bring my quirky, spunky, offbeat enthusiasm into the room the first time I entered, whether it was visually with the polka-dot dress I wore (with matching headband!)& the headshot with a bright blue background or audibly with the song I sang to show that I was both funny & loud (with a killer mix/belt)! Allowing me to be me let me be secure with bringing myself into the room & put me at ease almost instantly. I've been able to bring that in to my coaching, & pair it with what I know makes me spark (writing, speaking, coaching, collaborating, relationship building). I'm able to look & see what is in line with my authenticity, because I know what makes me, um, me.

I have two clients I'm currently working with that are going through just that. These are vivacious, fun, enthusiastic, funny, talented, inspiring women who don't quite believe that what they have to offer – their particular services as well as their engaging personalities – would equate to anything that anyone would pay for. These two women in particular are looking to work for themselves, but even if they were applying for jobs where someone else wrote the paycheck, they would come across the same dilemma: Buttoning themselves up, not allowing their real selves to shine through, & thinking they had to be a certain way/thing/person in order to get the job. They probably wouldn't take the time or effort to discover where they shine & what gives them their uniquity, & having the world miss out on that makes me sad.

Whether you're an artist launching a new Etsy shop or a writer looking for a full-time gig or an assistant looking to enter PR, being authentic is what will set you apart. Some will call it Branding, but how boring is that (& hello, what a way to bring on a case of the Shoulds!) Your uniquity is what makes you interesting. Your uniquity is what others will relate to. Your uniquity is what will get you the sales, the clients, and/or the job. Your uniquity is why people will want to work with you. Your uniquity is you.

But how do you find your uniquity?

• Do something scary & ask your friends & family why they like hanging out with you. Better yet, get it in writing or set-up a free survey so you can see the overall “winning” traits. Is is your sense of humor, the well-thought-out opinions of the Obama presidency, or the way you can put together the cutest outfit ever? If that is way too super scary, write down the names of your Top 10 Friends (don't worry – unless this is Mean Girls nobody'll see it) & the reason you hang out with them. Then put yourself in their shoes & ask yourself what you bring to their table. Be honest & egotistical – you can always buy new hats to fit your swelled head. Now brainstorm how you can bring those attributes into your resume, your shop, your website, your blog, your Twitter stream, your Mom's house….(see, I brought in a Your Mom joke – one of my favorite things!)
• Look back over any job review &/or thank you note/email/phone call, & make a note of the attributes that were pointed out to you. Did a friend thank you for setting them up on that blind date with your high school pal? Seems like you're a good connector. Did your boss make note of how your colleagues perform better than usual when they're on a project with you? Sounds like you're a great leader/inspirer/motivator. Write down these traits & keep them in your front pocket.
• Do a stream-of-consciousness writing exercises for 15 minutes (set the timer!) of things you love to do. It could be as simple as, “Go shopping with Sally” or as complicated as “Throw my Mom a surprise party for 100 people.” What have you done in your life that you've felt happy, or useful, or un-self-conscious, or free, or in touch? Those situations define you, as well as giving you clues to the authentic you. Pay attention to them, & do what you can to bring more of them into your life.
• Carry a notebook with you & write down whenever you feel authentic & why as well as when someone thanks you & why. Put a week or two's worth of notes together & you can really get all the pieces of the puzzle (”Felt authentic when I thanked the barista & she smiled at me-> Like being friendly, or feel like I put some Nice into the world”).
• Think of what Your Perfect Day would hold if you had to work during it. Where would you be? Who would be with you? What would you be doing? If nothing's coming, close your eyes & take the pressure off yourself. Just wait for it. Once you have that image, or that movie in your mind, write it down or draw it or paint it or make it into a cartoon. Just make sure that you slay the Vampires that come out during it, especially the Yeah-Like-That'll-Happen Vampire & the I'm-Not-Qualified Vampire & the I-Can't-Really-Make-Money-From-That Vampire. They're not welcome here.

Finding your authentic attributes & the things that make you spark is the way to really figure out who you are & what you have to offer. Only then can you go out into the world & create a life that supports it. And who wouldn't want a life that's supported by your true self?

Dummies. That's who.

This article first appeared in the Feb version of my newsletter. If you're not a dummy, then you'll sign up now. And yes, being a big, mean bully is totally part of my uniquity.

Related posts:

1. On My 32nd Birthday: Purpose, Gratitude, Happiness, & Sparks
2. Die Vampire Die!
3. The Dreaded Question

The Spaces in Between by Kecky

My husband came home Thursday night, a few minutes after I wrote this post, & despite the late hour we sat on the couch & talked & listened. I told him why I've been feeling heavy lately, laying my fears out on the table & allowing myself to cry & be held. He said everything in the husband handbook very sweetly & securely:

“I believe in you.”

“This is where you belong.”

“You're so, so good at this. It's not a fluke.”

“We'll be OK.”

“I'm behind you. That's what she said.”

And they were all comforting, sweet words that made me feel almost invincible. But then he said something I've never heard before, that made me smile & allow the trust to sit into my heart:

“Babe, you seem to walk a tightrope every day. And sometimes,  you stop yourself & look down & say, ‘Holy crapballs! I'm walking on a tightrope!” And sometimes it scares you & you stop walking for a bit, but you're the only person I've known who has always, always, always started walking the tightrope again. Today's just a day that you're noticing the tightrope & how scary it is.  And tomorrow, I know you'll start walking again.”

I'm the smartest woman for marrying this man.

Related posts:

1. Lost: 1 Sense of Trust
2. Tough (Question) Tuesday: What can you trust about yourself/this situation?
3. Stuck in the middle with….OK, I was gonna say “you” but that doesn't apply to this post.

Breathe in inspiration & trust yourself by tea for thoughts

I've been practicing what I preach, & what I know, & the life lessons that have presented themselves to me in the 32 years, 4 months & 2 days I've been on this planet.

I've been super nice to myself.

I've been taking in all the niceness that others are giving me (& man, have I been getting bunches of niceness lately).

I'm acknowledging & celebrating my wins & all the stuff that's going “right” in my life.

I'm only involved in projects I really, truly want to be involved in, that feel good & exciting & fun.

I've chucked most of/all the “shoulds”.

I've surrounded myself with the most awesome tribe a girl can ever have.

What does this add up to? A sense of purpose, & graciousness, & a full 1,000% belief that everything I've gone through in the last 32 years, 4 months & 2 days has brought me here – to this place that I belong, that I'm welcomed, that I need to be.

And yet I've lost my sense of trust.

The trust that I have the space I need to take the next step – the one that's right & good for my business & my self.

The trust that there are no right & wrong answers.

The trust that it's, well, easy to trust.

The trust that it will all come together.

The trust that it won't be taken away.

The trust that the Universe will provide me with what I need.

The trust that time is abundant.

Part of me is so confused. How can I be so sure of what I know & what I've learned & what I've been practicing, so comforted & positive & fulfilled, while part of me is so fearful &  unsure & rushed? Why does it feel so complicated when it “should” be so simple?

This is where I rest on the lesson that the most fulfilling things in my life have been the ones that have had their fair amount of fear mixed in with the excitement. That if I take one (baby!) step every day, that I'm moving forward. That freakin' A, the Universe is totally providing for me, even though it's not in a way that I can yet measure. But wait – I can. I can write down all the ways that the Universe has been providing for me. And I can look at all those things & smile & say, “Well, I trust that I'm doing something right. I truest that people are getting up what I'm putting down. I trust that this will be my bread & butter. I trust that I'm super in it to win it.” And other such cliches that accurately represent what I'm going through.

I can talk to you nonstop for an hour about all of the wonderfuness that has come my way this past month since I've been a full-time creative career coach, & yet it's not enough to allow me to breathe, to rest, to be comforted. But from here on out, I'm going on an adventure: one part movement, one part trust, one part rest, one part celebration. I'll mix it in slowly, gently, almost secretly – but I know that it's there. I can actually see it. Trust is a welcoming ray of sunshine, a singing bird, a sunset, a sweetness with arms open wide & smiles bright & big.

I'm just going to keep walking towards it. Baby steps. Easy does it. I'll walk slowly, surely, carefully, until it embraces me & I feel it breathe when I do.

I'll trust that it's OK that I don't feel that now. Yet. I'll get there.

Related posts:

1. Tough (Question) Tuesday: What can you trust about yourself/this situation?
2. 5 Ways to Trust Yourself/Slay the Disappointment Vampire
3. How to Really, Truly, Deeply, Honestly, Thoroughly…Trust (& Become an Optimist)